Remembering Rain
by Prophe-Cass
Summary: After Desperada, Ladybug notices that Chat Noir is acting a bit odd. After investigation, she discovers something about him she was not expecting.


Remembering Rain

Water dropped down from the heavens, forming a drizzle of rain across the entirety of Paris.

Ladybug sat on a rooftop, watching Chat Noir with keen interest.

His face was tilted upwards, a smile blossoming upon his visage. Small streams of joyful tears, almost invisible among his already wet face, ran down his cheeks gently. Finally, his arms were outstretched so that the rain covered them, too.

He had never shown so much interest in rain, before, and Ladybug was intrigued.

It had rained just a week before, yet, already, it felt like Chat Noir had developed a craving for it. His attitude was…odd and unexpected.

If he had been Adrien, Ladybug would have dismissed it. After all, the model had lived out three months in five minutes earlier that day; he was bound to miss things that didn't happen in that timeframe, like rain. He had probably forgotten his school homework and necessary assignments, not to mention his daily schedule, which changed often.

Ladybug, needless to say, felt guilty, and was obliged to force her civilian self to help Adrien as much as possible. Now, if Marinette could, like, not mess this up by stuttering, that would be perfect.

Ladybug brought her attention back to Chat Noir with a small sigh, watching him massage the scalp underneath his luxurious locks. This allowed the water to wet even his hair roots.

"I thought cats hated water." Ladybug quietly teased, smiling up at him with half-closed eyes.

He glanced back, still grinning yet also crying, nodding slowly. "Let's just say when you miss water…you miss water."

Ladybug cocked an eyebrow, uncertainty welling up within. She brushed her wet hair out of her eyes. "Chat, it's been…like…a week. And you better have taken a shower or five in that timeframe."

He paused, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. "Only a week? No, no, it was longer then that. Like, three mon- oh, wait no, I was doing…and because…but, before that…it…I'm confused."

"Yeah, me too." Ladybug sarcastically returned, arching an eyebrow in annoyance and worry.

"I thought it was a month or so since the last rain." He explained, eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"Chat Noir, are you okay? You're usually so good at remembering these kinds of things."

The more he mulled over his answer, the more her fearfulness increased. He was usually wonderful at remembering little details - such as exactly how the billboard fell down during their battle with Stormy Weather - and to have him hesitate was troubling.

"Chat?" Her voice was low, scared, and she reached her hand up to sweep back his hair, which was plastered to his forehead and cheekbones.

"I'm…not." He quietly admitted, shoulders curling inwards. "I-I mean, not okay. I'm…scared. And small, and-and I just…don't know anymore." His jade eyes slid over towards her, emerald meeting sapphire. "I'm sorry…"

"For what? What's wrong?" She asked, circling around so that she could face him properly.

"I failed you." He admitted, dipping his head. "And this…I'm…I'm not good enough. I failed so many times, and I can't even remember simple things anymore. It's…wrong. I'm wrong. No matter how much I try I always…I can't ever be a good partner. I try, I fail."

"Chat, where's all this coming from?" Ladybug's tone was cautious, fear welling up within. She knew he didn't particularly like himself, but…this…this was horrible. She brushed back her bangs again.

"I'm sorry." He repeated, voice low. "For messing up so much." He paused, staring down at her. She gestured for him to go on with her free hand, the other one wiping his cheeks of rain water and tears. "25,913 times I screwed up somehow, and-"

Ladybug pushed back, realization setting in like a rock. _Adrien. Adrien. **Adrien.**_

Chat Noir stumbled backwards, ducking his head and almost collapsing into himself, whispering pained apologizes again and again. "Don'thatemepleasepleaseI'msorryIwillnotscrewupagainpleasehavemercypleasecareaboutmeIknowI'mnotworthitandI'mnotperfectbutplease-"

"Adrien!" Ladybug choked, thinking of the pained emerald eyes the boy had fixed upon her but five hours before. "Adrien, it's okay!"

He lifted his head, trembling and hugging himself.

No wonder he had been crying in the rain. He hadn't seen any sign of water in months, he had been suffering, and she had been blind. He had sacrificed everything for her, and, suddenly, in a burst of realization, she knew. Chat Noir loved her so much, he nearly killed himself. Adrien cared about her so much, that he let himself get torn apart. Both boys she loved were the same, and both were hurt, because they were self-sacrificing idiots.

"I'm so sorry." Ladybug whispered, holding out her arms so that he could bury himself into her. "You didn't deserve that, you shouldn't have…" she closed her eyes, burying her face into his scalp.

"I failed. Why don't you care that I failed?!" He whined, pitch rising in pain. "Why?"

"I don't care about failures or triumphs." Ladybug said quietly, shutting her eyes against the pain. "I only care about you. You and only you. Oh…Adrien…you shouldn't have to suffer for my mistakes. I should've…" she hugged him tightly, ignoring how he sniffled at his real name. Poor boy…

She couldn't even find it in her to be mad at him for the identity reveal. She was relieved for it, in fact. Because he needed help and wouldn't have gotten it by not revealing.

"Adrien, Kitty, Chaton…you never have to go through that again." She promised, tilting his head up to face her. "Because I will always protect you. Always."

And he cried for relief and joy.

The rain kept pouring.


End file.
